Category Archives: music

by | June 30, 2012 · 6:49 pm

“There Ain’t No Cure for the Summertime Blues”

Eddie Cochran had a hit with this song in the late 1950’s. Eddie was born in Albert Lea, MN, about 12 miles north of my hometown of Emmons, MN. Tonight is Borderfest in Emmons, and for my readers attending tonight, have fun and I’ll try to make it next year. I didn’t find out about Borderfest until 6:00 pm tonight.

Anyway, Eddie was wrong. Spending time with my sisters-in-law today was a cure for the blues. Thank you, Suzy and Julie, for sharing your scarce free time with me today. I wish you knew how much it brightened my day, and I hope I brightened your each of days a bit, too. It was the first Saturday I did not go into the office since Memorial Day. I’m sure I’ll pay for it on Monday.

The three of us went to visit Carver Country Flowers and Gifts this morning. If you’re in the area, stop in and kindly support Annette and Al in the Mission: Small Business grant initiative! Their shop is also on Facebook (Julie, you were asking about this earlier). Afterwards, we got to visit my father-in-law for an hour.

I set out the Japanese beetle traps and I am getting some of the vile creatures contained. Instead of using the rather expensive disposable bags, I modified mine to use the top portion of the bag, a sprinkler system hose coupler, and some one-liter Powerade bottles. I attached the top half of the bag to the top half of the coupler with a pair of zip ties, and the bottom half of the coupler went through a hole I drilled in the Powerade bottle cap. The bottle contains a few drops of Apple Fresh Dawn dish soap in 8 oz. of water. The soap weakens the water’s surface tension and the beetles sink rather than float. There is no escape once the critters slide through the bag into the bottle. I dump the water every other day.

I managed to pick a little over a pint of berries tonight despite the mosquito onslaught. The dry spell is slowing down the berry production. There are a couple of chances for rain this week, so I’m going to let nature do the watering for me.

I hope everyone is having good weather. Enjoy some quality time with your spouse, significant other, or kids tonight.

Today's raspberry and blackberry harvest.

Today’s raspberry and blackberry harvest.

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Filed under family, gardening, music, rebuilding

by | May 9, 2012 · 10:18 pm

“Nights are Forever Without You”

The England Dan and John Ford Coley hit from the mid 1970’s pretty much sums up how I am holding up now. I’m finally managing to get close to a full night’s sleep without waking up every couple of hours. I know the sleeping will get better. Right now, I’m trying to get a lot of the administrative stuff done before I start my new job. The challenge of the new job will also contribute to some insomnia, but that will abate when I start contributing and earning my keep.

Lucy wanted me to move forward. I’ve been trying to do many of the things Lucy and I would do together: walks, gardening, household chores, grocery shopping. It’s strange coming up from the basement office and not seeing her in her glider rocker watching TV or reading; that was always a good time to do something incredibly ridiculous to get her to laugh. When we would go for our almost nightly walks, I would get her smiling or laughing a couple of times; now it’s a quiet time to reflect. Gardening was semi-serious business for us and we enjoyed doing it; it still is enjoyable. I would help Lucy with household chores, though I was usually relegated to yard duty; I have a deeper appreciation for single mothers now since they do so much on their own. We both hated grocery shopping though I would try to lighten things up; now it’s a task to do.

For those who have asked, I am eating properly. I dropped a lot of weight mostly because Lucy and I changed our diets to help her cancer battle. I’m still down almost 70 pounds and intend to keep it off. I had bought a suit about four years ago for a sales presentation. I showed Lucy’s siblings how it no longer fit “Biggest Loser” style. The pants nearly went around me twice.

I had a friend tell me a long time ago that just because you no longer cry for someone doesn’t mean you no longer love that person. What happens is as the sadness and sorrow diminish, happy memories fill in those spots. I’m already finding that out firsthand. Love conquers sorrow.

Everyone’s kindnesses are helping so much now. Thank you, Ginger, for sending a nice sympathy card and note today. Thank you, Julie, for calling to see how I was doing and for getting me to laugh a little. Thank you, Cathy from GBS, taking time from your hectic schedule to allow me to pick up Lucy’s belongings at work. Each of those acts is deeply appreciated.

So here’s hoping for some rare events in the near future: rainless days in May and the Twins winning some ballgames. Let your loved ones know you love them and thank you for your time.

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Filed under family, friends, music, rebuilding

by | May 5, 2012 · 6:50 pm

“The Sky is Crying”

Lucy’s MP3 player has about 1,400 songs on it (all legal, of course). One of them, Stevie Ray Vaughn’s cover of “The Sky is Crying”, seems appropriate today. My backyard picked up 1.11″ of rain since midnight, and 1.46″ since the yesterday. The Twin Cities metro area was about 5″ behind on rain. I don’t see any standing water despite all the rain. I also haven’t seen any state birds (mosquitoes)…yet. I swear the Siberian irises have scuba gear on now.

The garden planting is almost complete despite the downpour. The garden work has been very therapeutic for me. Lucy and I would eagerly await the arrival of gardening weather. It gave us some wonderful quality time together through the years.

It’s been a tough week dealing with the administrative minutiae that needs done once a person dies. With the exception of one local financial institution, everyone I have dealt with has been sympathetic and helpful. Lucy and I tried to cover all the bases to reduce the hoop jumping for the surviving spouse, but it’s still tough.

Most of you know I start a new job on May 14th. I’ll be working in Eden Prairie as a Sr. Software Engineer for a company that is growing quickly but intelligently. The job is demanding and I’ll need to be as close to 100% as possible when I start. That’s why I’m trying my best to get the administrative stuff done so quickly.

Thank you again to everyone who has called, emailed, or visited. Words cannot describe how you have helped me.

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Filed under gardening, music, rebuilding, weather

by | April 17, 2012 · 10:43 pm

“Photographs and Memories”

Lucy’s obituary ran today in the Minneapolis Star Tribune and the Mesabi Daily News newspapers.

The funeral home will put together a DVD that will play during the visitation. I will be supplying 30 photographs tomorrow morning so the production gets done before the service on Saturday.

Steve and Liz invited me over for dinner tonight. I really appreciated getting out and spending time with them. I brought along a CD with about 90 scanned photos of Lucy. I knew this would help me select the 30 I need. While going through the pictures, I ran across some I had forgotten about. The memories were so soothing. I’ll miss Lucy for the remainder of my time here, but the wonderful memories of our time together ease most of the pain.

I was thinking about having a tribute board displayed during the visitation. The funeral service will be short and simple per Lucy’s request so there is no time for people speaking during the service. By having the written tributes, people can honor Lucy. I will make the tributes available on the blog as quickly as I can afterwards since I know there are a number of people who cannot attend. If you would like to leave a tribute, please email it to tealowljourney@gmail.com. I’ll mask your email address. Any tributes brought the day of the service will get transcribed and posted later.

The post title is a Jim Croce song from 1972.

Thank you for your patience and understanding.

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Filed under music, rebuilding

by | April 9, 2012 · 9:17 pm

“Monday, Monday”

Lucy is still hanging tough though her body is slowing down even more. She is managing to wake up for short intervals. Both of her sisters were over today and Lucy managed to smile at them. Even something as simple as smiling or speaking a few words saps her energy. She is resting comfortably and seems very peaceful. Lucy had an aide over to clean her and the hospice chaplain stopped by for a few minutes. For Lucy, that was a very busy day.

My parents came back today. They left early yesterday afternoon because of bad weather that was rolling into their area. Steve and Liz had dropped off a nice Easter dinner on Saturday. My parents and I enjoyed that tonight.

Tomorrow her nurse will be by to check on Lucy. A hospice volunteer is coming over to give me a chance to run errands for a couple of hours. I may choose to nap instead.

Today’s post title is from a 1966 song by The Mamas and The Papas.

Thank you for your caring! Lucy and I deeply appreciate that!

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Filed under cancer battle, family, hospice, music