Category Archives: friends

by | April 25, 2012 · 6:59 pm

Tributes, day two

One little piece of business first: the funeral home sent me something they found. It appears to be a button or insert. It is burnished gray, looks like a flower, and has a crystal in the middle. I think it may have been from one of the GBS people? I would like to get it back to its rightful owner.

Here are a couple more tributes:

To my big sis Lu,

I have wonderful memories of our childhood: I remember you reading to me and taking walks in the woods. You taught me how to play piano. You would take me to Duluth to see a movie or to go shopping. You took me to my first rock concert. Lucy, you were my rock; I knew I could always count on you in good times and in bad. I will miss you so very much and every time I see a bowl of pansies or strawberries, I will think of you.

Julie (Honkanen) Greenbush

My sincere condolences are offered to you in the memory of Lucy. As a former classmate of Lucy, I will surely miss the fact that I will never be able to see or talk to my very 1st friend in school. We were a small group that managed to make it through all 12 grades together. Lucy takes with her a number of my 1st’s we shared together. My 1st non-family birthday party, etc.

I have lived out-of-state for over 28 years and have recently moved back to Minnesota, back to the Pike-Sandy area, and haven’t had much of a chance to reconnect with all I have known. So this even saddens me as I feel gain this part of me will be missed. Again, my prayers are with you all, that time will soon heal the sadness and renew you with the joy of the great gift Lucy’s presence we shared and carry in our hearts.

Kelly (Kangas) Beyer-Sheffield

Sorry to hear about your loss. Hazel has kept me informed on Lucy’s ups and downs. According to your mom, Lucy has fought the battle until the end. She was a great person and I know you will miss her greatly. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. We know that she will be up in Heaven with Rob. Both of them will be watching over you. Just remember all of the good times the two of you had. That’s what I do when I think of Rob. You have to treasure all of the years that you had with each other. Take care!

Denise Van Steenwyk

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by | April 24, 2012 · 9:18 pm

Tributes, day one

Lucy had several tributes on display at her funeral. I am posting them over the next few days for those who could not attend.

Farewell … farewell Lucy, farewell my friend.

I intend to celebrate a life, a life that ended too soon. Lucy accomplished what God had planned. She gave me joy and showed me her kindness. I can now call on her to give me solace and ask God to send peace my way. I intend to celebrate a life, Lucy’s life. I remember when the bomb dropped, she had a heavy feeling in her stomach, and we hugged and cried together in the lactation room in the office. Then the surgery – the prognosis – not so good.

Sometimes we almost get it right. Often, quite often, I’m told that Lucy was lucky to have me as her friend.  Almost right, it was the other way around. I was lucky to have her as my friend.

I met Lucy the first day I started work at Stanton Group and she was shy, quiet, and respectful. You could say that I now had a mission, to get her out of that shell. We were both early birds and I would walk by her work station and say, “Good morning, Lucy”. Since I had a mission and I am a determined person, I kept it up and soon she was turning her head towards me. One thing led to another and soon we visited every morning at work. Lucy loved to garden and grow flowers and plants. I loved growing people and she is my rose in a bed of carnations (her favorite flower).

We shared Mom stories, her Mom, my Mom. I told husband and brother stories, kid stories and grandkid stories. She told stories about her husband and brother, sister, nieces and nephews. I told her what was happening, and probably would happen in the office. She would say, “How do you (did you) know that?”

She loved being color coordinated; remember the many colored watch bands? I remember her sweet little smile and the bottom lip that she could curl when she was thinking.

I tried to be a good friend and with Lucy’s permission, I declared “Lucy cap/scarf day” at work. I brought in bags of caps in case people forgot theirs and we all wore them. Co-workers stopped to greet her and let her know we all cared. We were celebrating her life at work. She was a rose in a bed of carnations.

After I retired, Lucy and I met for lunch, brunch, dinner, or coffee whenever we could. I remember meeting for brunch right after her Mother passed away and we talked for hours. Yes, she did hold up her end of the conversation.

I dreaded the hospital visits because of what the cancer was doing to her. I also loved the visits and seeing her smile.

Celebrate, Lucy, celebrate. God has called you home. I was the lucky one, you were my friend.

Farewell, farewell Lucy… farewell my friend, farewell my rose.

Your friend,
Diane Benner

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by | April 1, 2012 · 9:11 pm

Home is where the heart is

Lucy had some more visitors today. Our friend Danette, my cousin Julie, and Julie’s husband Dave were also here. We haven’t seen them for a couple of years because of job commitments, and Lucy received a pansy bowl and some oriental lily bulbs for her gardens. Lucy’s cousin Annette and her husband Al were here and dropped off a stunning bouquet. Lucy’s sister Julie came by to see how Lucy was doing. Steve dropped off a small wheeled organizer which Lucy used to put her items in. Suzy came by to give Lucy a leg massage, which was greatly appreciated.

She has been attempting solid food yesterday and today. Steve and Liz brought some beef stew yesterday and Lucy had a little of it. Today she wanted a hamburger and fries from Culver’s and ate a little of them. While she isn’t eating much, it was nice that she seems to have an appetite. She is also using her spirometer today to help keep her lungs clear. At one point she wanted to sit up on the edge of her bed for a few minutes. She is sleeping better and her abdominal pain has been manageable without pain meds.

She does have periods of extreme fatigue. Her throat is still sore despite Popsicles and throat drops. The soreness was because of the oxygen she was on at the hospital. She hardly needs oxygen here at home. Her bouts of hiccups still occur and require Thorazine, which makes her really foggy for a couple of hours.

Lucy’s hospice case manager will be here tomorrow. We’re looking forward to that meeting. I’m hoping we can set a schedule for the week.

Thank you, everyone, for all your love and support!

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by | March 31, 2012 · 10:37 pm

Home sweet home

Lucy was nervous about coming home. In the hospital, you can press a button and have someone there to help. At home, she has me. The people in the hospital obviously have had many hundred hours more patient care training care than I have had. However, her hospice care case manager met with us on Friday before she got discharged and covered everything very thoroughly. One of the hospice nurses met us at the house with her medications, gave me some charting forms, and walked me though each of the drugs.

Diane and my parents were with us at the hospital on Friday. Once we had a firm time set up for the equipment delivery, my parents went to our house to let the delivery people in. Lucy’s siblings came over to visit after she got home.

Today was a very busy day for Lucy. A hospice nurse, Ann, came by to check on Lucy. Ann’s father is in hospice battling gastroblastoma so Ann is aware of the hiccup problem Lucy is having. She also had some suggestions for Lucy and had a couple more prescriptions sent via courier to our house.

Lucy is getting a bathing and massage service twice per week. After Lindsay came by today, Lucy wants to increase it to three times per week. It was so nice for Lucy to get pampered for 45 minutes and she was beaming afterwards.

Lucy’s siblings and her dad visited her this afternoon. We had a very nice dinner together. Lucy had some spaghetti and some chocolate cake. We celebrated Steve’s birthday a couple of days early. Diane stopped by earlier in the afternoon for a bit. It was nice to help Diane celebrate her birthday today.

Lucy has not needed oxygen today. She wanted it on a very low setting tonight. She is still having issues with hiccups, so her Thorazine dose got adjusted upwards slightly. That is working. She has not had much abdominal pain today except for the hiccups.

Lucy is still really tired. Her throat is a little sore from being on oxygen in the hospital. She has been using Halls Breezers to help with that. She also has some Popsicles and Jell-O to help soothe her throat.

Thank you so much for caring for us! I hope these blog posts have helped show everyone what an amazing woman I married. She is the true embodiment of a life worth living. Her strength, courage, and dignity are an inspiration. My hope is when it is my time to transcend this existence that I will follow Lucy’s example.

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by | March 29, 2012 · 12:17 am

Palliative care, the battle is ending

She has some guests here at the hospital. Her brother and sister-in-law (Steve and Liz), her sisters (Julie and Suzy), my parents, Lucy’s friend Diane, and a friend of Lucy’s family, Barb, are here. I’ll be here for the duration.

The morphine is making her a bit groggy, but she is able to talk to people. She is alert and fully cognizant. Lucy knows that there is nothing more they can do for her.

Lucy is suffering from septic shock. There are indications her bowel perforated. She is too weak for surgery and her chest X-ray showed significant damage to her organs. At this point, she will be receiving pain medication and the hospital staff will make her as comfortable as possible while she transitions from this existence. The infection is too far advanced for containment by antibiotics. She is weak enough that we may be unable to move her into a hospice or get her back home for her final days. Her vital signs did improve after receiving two units of blood, but she will be anemic again quickly.

None of us knows how much longer Lucy will be with us. However, the end will probably come rather quickly, perhaps within a couple of days. While we will not get a long slow goodbye, she is getting a chance to be with her family. I know I wanted her journey to end with a happily ever after, but I am thankful for every day I had with her.

Please pray for Lucy. She has been incredibly brave through this ordeal. Thank you so much for all the love and support you have given us. I know that has been a recurring theme in my posts, but it helped us more than you can imagine.

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