Monthly Archives: May 2012

May seems to be popular for weddings

In addition to Mike and Sarah’s wedding tonight, I found out a friend of mine got married last week. Belated congratulations to Kelly and Brad! Tonight’s wedding was huge. I thought Mike was kidding when he said about 400 guests were invited. There were closer to 450 people there.

Today was not a fun day to drive from Eden Prairie to St. Paul. What should be about a 25-minute drive turned into close to two hours. The weather was warm, the Twin Cities set a record high of 93°F today, but there should not have been THAT many cars stalled out. Maybe the 10-15% ethanol we’re required to have in our gasoline is causing vapor lock. In addition, St. Paul decided to close just about anything that was paved. I-94 was closed, and there was a lane closure in I-35E. The main thing is I made it.

Work is going OK. I’m figuring out how things go together in Silverlight and C#.NET hasn’t been too onerous yet. I’m already working on a live project and moving forward on it.

With all the love in the air, please take time to let your loved ones know you love them.

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Congratulations Mike & Sarah

I will be attending their wedding tomorrow night in St. Paul if (a) I’m not stuck at work really late and (b) the dreaded orange barrel season hasn’t choked the thoroughfares down to hiking paths. There is some irony in attending someone’s wedding so soon after losing my spouse. Life keeps moving with or without us. Lucy and I were softies for newlyweds. We hoped they would have as much joy in their marriage as we had in ours.

Tomorrow might be our first 90°F day of the season here in Bloomington. Today’s rain fizzled out after a few drops. Our next chance of rain is the whole weekend.

Since I work in Eden Prairie now, my commute takes me within a mile of Lucy’s resting place. It’s nice that I get chances to visit her.

The bald eagles are out in force today. I saw one in Eden Prairie and three in Bloomington. We also have about a dozen turkey buzzards soaring along the Minnesota River south of me.

I hope to get some pictures of Lucy’s gardens this weekend. Perhaps the weekend won’t be a total washout.

Thank you for thinking of me and for keeping Lucy’s memory alive by reading this. It really does mean a lot to me.



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One month

Today marks one month since Lucy passed away. My parents and I went to breakfast, and then we stopped by the cemetery to visit Lucy. They left about 10:30 this morning.

I saw my first monarch butterfly today. Lucy enjoyed butterflies and hummingbirds. The painted lady butterflies have been around for well over a month, but Lucy would be excited seeing the first monarch of the season. Late this afternoon I heard a fox yipping and barking. My guess is a pair is scouting locations for a den. It was this time last year a male and female were in the neighborhood.

The gardens really kicked into gear now that the weather has warmed up again and the rain has stopped for a few days. OK, so the fool living southwest of me is watering his back yard and then will gripe loudly and profanely about the mosquitoes. You would think that over five inches of rain the first ten days of the month would adequately moisten the soil down several inches. I know the ground clumped when I was planting glad bulbs today at a depth of four inches.

I had planted dahlias a couple of weeks of ago and they have sprouted. The string beans in the hanging planters are about an inch long now. All the blue flax is in full bloom and the white flax is starting to bloom. Lucy would be happy with her gardens now.

I’m behind on getting garden pictures taken and uploaded. The upcoming week will be incredibly busy, but I hope to squeeze in some time for photos. The forecast is temperatures in the 80’s almost the entire week, although Friday into Saturday looks stormy and sticky.

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone! One of my blessings is my mother is still alive. Lucy had lost her mother in August. This would have been Lucy’s first Mother’s Day without her mother. Now they are together.

Thank you for your time, and please take time to count your blessings. You have more than you think!

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Lucy was my rock

Lucy is in her final resting place today. Her inurnment service was at 1:00 this afternoon. The weather was beautiful and Rev. Naumann did an outstanding job at the service.

After my brother died fifteen years ago, Lucy and I decided on cremation after we left this world. We had visited Dawn Valley Memorial Park a couple of times while doing my family history research around ten years ago. Lucy had commented how much she liked Dawn Valley.

We both loved the outdoors. Lucy had gathered some interesting rocks through the years, which we have incorporated into our landscaping. When I was looking for a resting place for us, the boulder gardens were a unique feature. It was very appropriate. Lucy was my rock.

The boulder below is the one we will be sharing eternity. Lucy gets the right side, just as she did at home. The marker will be ready in about six weeks.

Our final resting place

Our final resting place

She is the farthest from our neighbors, is in the highest spot, and has the best view. There is a nature preserve close by. I saw red wing blackbirds, Canadian geese, goldfinches, and cardinals, and I heard bluebirds and robins before the service. We are close to a pond, marsh, trees including pines, a grassy area, and a flower garden. It’s very peaceful and I know Lucy would have selected the same spot.

Be sure to tell your loved ones how much you love them tonight.

Resting place view

We have the boulder at bottom right. The three rocks behind us are decoration; the rose quartz is stunning.

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“Nights are Forever Without You”

The England Dan and John Ford Coley hit from the mid 1970’s pretty much sums up how I am holding up now. I’m finally managing to get close to a full night’s sleep without waking up every couple of hours. I know the sleeping will get better. Right now, I’m trying to get a lot of the administrative stuff done before I start my new job. The challenge of the new job will also contribute to some insomnia, but that will abate when I start contributing and earning my keep.

Lucy wanted me to move forward. I’ve been trying to do many of the things Lucy and I would do together: walks, gardening, household chores, grocery shopping. It’s strange coming up from the basement office and not seeing her in her glider rocker watching TV or reading; that was always a good time to do something incredibly ridiculous to get her to laugh. When we would go for our almost nightly walks, I would get her smiling or laughing a couple of times; now it’s a quiet time to reflect. Gardening was semi-serious business for us and we enjoyed doing it; it still is enjoyable. I would help Lucy with household chores, though I was usually relegated to yard duty; I have a deeper appreciation for single mothers now since they do so much on their own. We both hated grocery shopping though I would try to lighten things up; now it’s a task to do.

For those who have asked, I am eating properly. I dropped a lot of weight mostly because Lucy and I changed our diets to help her cancer battle. I’m still down almost 70 pounds and intend to keep it off. I had bought a suit about four years ago for a sales presentation. I showed Lucy’s siblings how it no longer fit “Biggest Loser” style. The pants nearly went around me twice.

I had a friend tell me a long time ago that just because you no longer cry for someone doesn’t mean you no longer love that person. What happens is as the sadness and sorrow diminish, happy memories fill in those spots. I’m already finding that out firsthand. Love conquers sorrow.

Everyone’s kindnesses are helping so much now. Thank you, Ginger, for sending a nice sympathy card and note today. Thank you, Julie, for calling to see how I was doing and for getting me to laugh a little. Thank you, Cathy from GBS, taking time from your hectic schedule to allow me to pick up Lucy’s belongings at work. Each of those acts is deeply appreciated.

So here’s hoping for some rare events in the near future: rainless days in May and the Twins winning some ballgames. Let your loved ones know you love them and thank you for your time.

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