Category Archives: philosophy

by | December 31, 2012 · 7:32 pm

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…”

Many of you will recognize the title of tonight’s post as a snippet of the first sentence (and paragraph) of “A Tale of Two Cities” by Charles Dickens. That one sentence in its entirety has 119 words, 169 syllables with a Flesch-Kincaid Reading Ease of -34.1 and a Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level of 47.6. The two metrics, courtesy of Readability-score.com, would indicate at a passing glance that the opening sentence would be impossible for most people to read much less comprehend. Yet the juxtaposition of the best of times enjoyed by England, and the worst of times endured by France, during 1775 is easily understood along with the subtle mockery by Dickens of “its noisiest authorities”. “Giving him/her the dickens” was a phrase meaning giving someone the devil back in Shakespeare’s time, a couple of centuries before Charles Dickens took pen in hand, though Mr. Dickens made a literary career out of bedeviling the unjust.

The past year was a study in juxtapositions. For some of you, 2012 was the best of times. There were births, graduations, engagements, promotions, weddings, new homes, favorite teams making the playoffs, and other celebratory achievements. For others, including me, 2012 was the worst of times. There were deaths (and far too many of them), divorces, lost jobs, lost homes, player lockouts, misfortune, and dashed hopes. For the rest of you, 2012 was just a year, neither good nor bad. It was merely indistinguishable and unnoteworthy from other years.

Humans are optimistic by nature. For thousands of years we have looked to the New Year to absolve the shortcomings and misfortunes of the old year and look forward with optimism that the new year will be better. It is more than huddling with people outside to see a ball or some other object drop, cuddling up with someone special while watching television coverage of New Year’s celebrations worldwide, or hoping for a kiss from someone special at the stroke of midnight, though all are enjoyable endeavors.

New Year’s symbolism echoes our optimism. The melancholy and decrepit old year gets ushered out and the joyous and innocent baby new year gets pressed into service. Our old year is weary from our tribulations, melancholy from our sorrows, and decrepit from bearing our burdens, while our new year is energetic, happy, and fit. We have weathered millennia of tragedy and strife, and no doubt will face other challenges in the upcoming year, but for this brief instant in time, all is happy and well. “Out with the old and in with the new” indeed.

For those of you on the roads tonight, please be careful and lay off the joy juice before driving. If you’re outside watching something drop besides the temperature, stay warm and enjoy yourselves! For those of you spending time with loved ones (or just a loved one), make the hugs meaningful, and enjoy your first kiss of the new year. Happy New Year, and may 2013 be better than 2012 for all of you!

Leave a Comment

Filed under literature, philosophy, rebuilding

by | November 20, 2012 · 10:07 pm

Lost in Translation

No, this isn’t about the Bill Murray movie from several years back. This started with a gleeful Facebook post which resulted in me trying to find a recipe for tater tot hotdish, which resulted in me finding a piece of notepaper Lucy left in the recipe box with a couple of Finnish phrases on it. Lucy was extremely proud of her Finnish heritage. She had the two phrases written out with a brief description of what sort of wall hanging contained each statement. She had seen these in one of three places: Finnish Gifts in downtown Minneapolis, Bergquist Imports in Cloquet, MN or Irma’s Finland House in Virginia, MN.

The first phrase was “Ota hymy huuleen ja juoksee vastatuuleen”. She had written “Smile and run against the wind” as a translation. Google Translate indicated “Take a smile on the lip and runs into the wind”.

On the back page was “Siunaa Jeesus ruokamme, ole aina luonamme“. Lucy’s translation was “Dear Jesus, Thank you for our food and be present with us always.” Google Translate came up with something puzzling: “Jesus will bless our food, not always with us”. The subtlety of language comes into play. This is why auto-correct features are unintentionally hilarious or painfully vexing.

Google is a huge corporation. They have many brilliant minds working for them and advanced technology at their disposal. Something as simple as a before meal prayer still proves problematic for computerized translation, but a human translator has an easy time.  Words can have multiple meanings and definitions depending on context. A machine will try to use algorithms, which parse words and then assign a weighting factor to determine probable usage. All that sentence diagramming we were subjected to in middle school was not for naught.

The Chinese proverb “A picture is worth ten thousand words” is quite appropriate thousands of years later. Brilliant writers can “paint with words” in ways that I cannot, but even they get hindered by the sterility of purely written words. A human reader can remember passages that were a few words, sentences, paragraphs or chapters back, which help convey mood and context. A machine will look at a preceding word, the preceding sentence, and the current one. Even today, how many times has an email or note from someone caused the wrong reaction because even though the grammar and usage was correct, the intention was lost? How many times have passages been “taken out of context” to prove or disprove a thesis?

Take the three word phrase “I love you.” The phrase is easily translated into hundreds of languages.  No problem with meaning, right? C. S. Lewis very artfully demonstrated the difficulties of expressing emotion through language in “The Four Loves“. Love, while seemingly a simple concept is an extremely complex emotion with many different contexts. For example, Marcy is married, has a child, both parents still living, several siblings, and many friends. Even though Marcy will say “I love you” to her spouse, child, parents, siblings, and friends, there is a different form of love expressed using the same words.

In addition to words, humans will use tonality, inflection, and expressions to help convey meaning. We’ve seen movies where one buddy will slur “I love ya” before the copious quantities of alcoholic libations previously consumed are unceremoniously liberated and/or unconsciousness. “I love you” spoken to a spouse can have different meanings depending on mood. The degree of love between two people can differ. Romantic comedies have used a variation of A loves B madly, B loves A not as much (or at all), hilarity ensues while equilibrium establishes or fails, and all the loose ends tidy up in about 105 minutes. Affection, or caring, or adoration, or comradery:  it’s still those three words, “I love you”.

The visual and audible cues are very important. How do we determine if a person is angry or pretending, sincere or lying, happy or putting on a brave face? We try to “read” a person’s clues in their voice, eyes, mouth, nose, neck, posture. People with certain spectral disorders lack the ability to pick up those cues, and some sociopaths have the ability to “fake” these cues on demand. Without those cues, we are subject to misinterpretation. Some people were uneasy watching “The Polar Express” because the available cutting edge Computer Generated Imagery (CGI) failed to adequately capture facial expressions. Compare those characters to a newer CGI film like “Avatar” and notice the more life-like facial expressions.

Make it simpler for your loved ones. Find time to ota hymy huuleen ja juoksee vastatuuleen when there is no risk for frostbite. Be genuine with your hugs and tell your loved ones that you care. Give them as many cues as you can. There is elegance in simplicity especially in a fast-paced and complex world.

Leave a Comment

Filed under literature, philosophy, rebuilding

by | July 28, 2012 · 10:15 pm

Non sibi, sed toti

I’m fortunate that I rarely hear from the grammar police, but maybe I’ll hear from the Latin purists. The title translates to “Not for self, but for others”. (If the last word were “omnibus”, it could be considered “everyone”.)

I have yet to find a religion that preaches putting oneself above others. Most philosophers from Socrates through today opined that we exist to serve the greater good, and the greater good is to serve others. There is something to it; history has numerous accounts of great societies like the Byzantine Empire, the Roman Empire, and the city/states of ancient Greece crumbling and collapsing because the populace went the “Not for others, but for self” avenue. Life is precious and the self-preservation instinct imprinted itself into our genetic make up about four billion years ago. Because of that, we revere war heroes who sacrificed their lives to save fellow soldiers, and firefighters and police officers who died in the line of duty. A parent’s death while saving his or her child usually makes the national news. Altruism is noble indeed.

Putting others first is not easy. Many times, it is thankless and emotionally draining all the while requiring huge sacrifices of time and energy. Some of these people become grief counselors, others become ministers, still others firefighters, peace officers, medical professionals, teachers, and first responders. It takes a special kind of person to devote her or his life to helping others, especially when the other person is in dire need.

Most of us will face situations in our lives where we will have to make sacrifices for the sake of others. Parents do this routinely for their children. I was never fortunate enough to be a parent, but I have been around some incredible people raising children in difficult circumstances, yet the children are happy, well-loved, and well-adjusted. Time spent shuttling children to activities took precedence over time spent in badly needed “me” time. Money spent on activity fees and supplies was more important than money spent on entertainment. The great parents are the ones who make these sacrifices without the child knowing a sacrifice occurs. The truly great ones manage that along with helping others in need.

Aging parents are another challenge most of us will face. The difficulty is the sudden role reversal that occurs: the parent is the child and the child becomes the parent. Adding to the difficulty is the fact the parent realizes his or her independence is slipping away, certainly temporarily but possibly permanently. There is an old saying that goes to the effect of “After a taste of freedom, captivity is never the same”. Captivity exists either by a lack of mobility or from needing to move to a care facility because living independently is no longer safe. In some cases, an aging parent may experience mental decline. That is the hardest of the changes because that person is becoming someone else. All this is happening while the caretaker is trying to balance a home life and work demands. Strained relationships and hurt feelings are not uncommon. Someone may snap a pithy comment out of frustration, leave in a huff, or withdraw into a deep shell because of the pressures, and the others feel some pain. It becomes hard to remember that these sacrifices happen for love and of love, and that there is a greater good everyone is trying to achieve.

I went through caring for a terminally ill loved one, and I know others of you have, too. The only reason I made it through was because there were people willing to sacrifice their free time for us. Hospice workers and volunteers, friends and family, all were there at the time of our greatest need. I had to focus on ensuring Lucy was well-loved and well cared for in her time of need. It was the hardest thing I have ever done and I pray I never have to do that again, but I did it for her. The love and support from all of you helped in ways I will never be able to describe and can never adequately repay.

Unfortunately, we lose some of these great people along the way. Some are lost because they got hurt one too many times helping an ungrateful person, others because the stresses and strains of the sacrifices wear them down, and still others because they have nothing left to give. Each time we lose one, a bit of our society crumbles. We all feel the loss. I hope that the ones on the cusp of quitting reconsider. There will always be someone in need.

Thank you to all of you who put others first for you are the unsung heroes in our society! If you know anyone like that, please give that person some support. After all, they would do it for you.

1 Comment

Filed under philosophy, rebuilding

by | June 3, 2012 · 8:23 pm

Thank God for friends

I had a great Memorial Day weekend. The workweek got long. I like the company, I like my co-workers, my bosses are great, but we’re on a very aggressive product timeline and I’m trying to contribute without slowing everyone else down. I spent seven hours in the office Saturday to get as much behind schedule stuff done as I could. I’ve learned quite a bit of stuff these past three weeks but I have only begun to scratch the surface. For success as a new hire, one needs to endure some short-term pain to get long-term gain.

Today was an example of where friends come in. I got to catch up a bit during a large landscaping job with a friend I hadn’t seen in about fifteen years, though we’ve exchanged emails and IMs through the years. It’s funny how we picked up as if the last time we had seen each other was last week. That’s the most wonderful part about long-time friends. Thanks, Kell! It was nice meeting her husband, Darren, and seeing her daughter, Amanda, too.

Tomorrow is a tough day. It would have been our 24th wedding anniversary. I’m going to work tomorrow and start hammering away on a complex project I’m a week behind on completing. It sounds like thunderstorms are forecast for tomorrow afternoon and evening, so I might not get to the cemetery, either. Lightning seems to like the spruce trees near Lucy’s grave. I think she’d rather wait for me to join her from natural causes rather than from ten billion joules of electricity running through me (and yes, I had to Google that piece of trivia). We normally would go to Don Pablo’s or Romano’s Macaroni Grill for dinner, especially since our anniversary falls on a weekday and we both have to get up early the day after. My guess is many people thought we were a boring couple, but we enjoyed spending time together. That was our gift to each other: time spent together. It meant more than anything we could buy. We had to share our week with work, but we tried to spend as much time together during our weekends. They were precious to us.

It’s been nearly two months since Lucy died. I know I’m slowly healing and I hope the others who love her are feeling some healing, too. She was a very special woman. As I wrote in her eulogy, it took time for me to get the courage to ask her out. The more I got to know her, the more it seemed right. I wanted to be sure that I wasn’t getting my hopes up only to find she didn’t feel the same towards me as I did towards her. It seriously damaged a wonderful friendship decades ago when I saw what I wanted to believe, and I didn’t want to go through that again.

Perhaps that’s why I remember so many seemingly trivial details about our relationship. Our first kiss took a while because I didn’t want to mess up a good thing. I could see how happy she was when we were together and it took a bit to be sure I was the one making her happy. So much for my above average observation powers, eh? I believe in wasting no opportunity, but some opportunities require more care than others, none more so than l’affaires de cœuer. (If I butchered the French, it’s been about 35 years since I ran through a French Berlitz class. My Spanish and Latin are slipping badly and I have totally forgotten what little Norwegian, German, and Danish I knew.)

I’m grateful for those of you who read this blog. I have no idea what the future holds for me. Some of you have lost a spouse and have found love again. Perhaps that is in my future, but Lucy will always be special to me no matter what. Some of you are in long-term relationships and/or marriages, and my hope is that your happily ever after lasts for many more years. Others are battling health issues, or being a caregiver for a loved one, with a great deal of dignity, good humor, and courage and I hope your battle is fought on your terms. Some of you have loved ones serving in the military and are enduring a long separation, and I hope your loved one returns safely so you can keep going with your happily ever after.

The common thread is that love gets us through life. Love is a priceless blessing that someone shares with you. I find inspiration, strength, peace and hope in each of you. Thank you for sharing that with me.

Leave a Comment

Filed under friends, philosophy, rebuilding