Category Archives: philosophy

Walking on eggshells

The post title is an idiom, or figure of speech, meaning one must deal with a sensitive or delicate situation or that one must tread carefully. I had the misfortune of a literal case of walking on eggshells earlier this week.

I mentioned that a mallard hen had nested behind the clematis trellis. Yesterday I was cleaning up the storm mess of leaf clumps and twigs and noticed nine broken eggs. The duck was not on her nest. Raccoons are known to raid duck nests and there were a couple of “calling cards” left in the yard suggesting one or two may have been responsible. The hen was on the roof of the house looking down at the nest. She was favoring her left leg. When I checked on her an hour later, she was gone.

It has been quite stormy since Thursday and we may not see a turn for the better until Monday. Monday is the only day without a rain chance all next week. A church has a sign up front reading “Thank you, God, for the rain. We’re good now!” Sometimes you get what you pray for.

It is not a secret that I am clumsy, and I have the scars to prove it. I have had to tread gingerly, to “walk on eggshells”, because of possibly exacerbating an injury or repeating an embarrassing stumble. Thankfully, the platform shoe era of the late 1970s and early 1980s is no longer with us. I had a couple memorable face plants courtesy of those evil contraptions. The only thing more dangerous was dressing in combustible polyester clothing and dancing in a crowded disco where everyone had lit cigarettes. Darwinism must have taken a break during the disco years.

We have all had to “walk on eggshells” at some point for differing reasons: fear of hurting someone’s feelings, fear of reprisal, handling a volatile situation, gently encouraging or supporting someone. As a manager, I would deal with occasional volatile situations, especially dealing with clients. I gave performance improvement plan recommendations that could result in job termination if not completed. I recently was on the receiving end of some news delivered very gently because the other person was concerned about my feelings and reaction. It was very touching, and it turned out the walking on eggshells was unwarranted. Being concerned about someone’s feelings while having the courage to deliver the news showed a lot of compassion and class.

Expressing feelings to another person is another common reason for walking on eggshells. I still find it hard properly expressing feelings, though I think I have gotten better at it through the years. Perhaps we should be more open with our feelings towards those closest to us. It would greatly reduce misunderstandings, although it would completely eviscerate the romantic comedy and romance novel industries.

You may notice many of my posts end with the hope that you give a meaningful hug to your loved ones. Lucy would give me at least a dozen hugs a day; now I go weeks without receiving a hug. Do not take a hug from a loved one for granted, and do not waste the opportunity to give one. I know how hard it is to tell someone how much you care about him or her, but you should do so occasionally. Actions speak louder than words, but actions in addition to works are louder still. It is a wonderful form of positive reinforcement.

Whether you have recently started dating, or you and your spouse are married long enough to reach the precious gemstone anniversaries, take a moment and consider how lucky you are to have someone who wants to spend time with you, and how that brings joy to you. Joy is contagious but not harmful, so infect the world around you.

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Filed under philosophy, rebuilding

Just ducky

There is an old saying, “Lovely weather for a duck” and for the past ten days the Twin Cities must seem like duck nirvana. Steady drizzle, heavy rain, wind, and cloud cover are giving the lakes and rivers a badly needed recharge. The ducks are quite happy, of course, even the hen mallard who built a nest behind the clematis.

Mallards are average sized ducks. A female ready to lay a clutch of eggs might tip the scales at three pounds and stands about a foot tall. I am close to six times as tall and easily 65 times as heavy. I had noticed a hen mallard in the backyard for a couple of days. She flew away when I approached Friday evening. Saturday morning, she was in the backyard again. However, her behavior was quite different. She immediately curled up and seemed injured. As I drew closer, she charged me hissing and flapping her wings like an upset goose, startling me for a couple of seconds, and then she slipped behind the clematis trellis. I figured out she had a nest and was defending it. If she is that determined to nest and risked her life to do so, who am I to say no? Assuming some varmint does not interfere, I will have a lodger for the next six weeks, and I could see up to a dozen little puffs of yellow fuzz scampering behind the hen when everyone leaves the nest for the last time.

Lucy and I had a hen mallard try nesting in the front yard eleven years ago, but she abandoned the nest within a week leaving three eggs behind. This was about the time coyotes were first spotted in the southern metro and we had fox as regular visitors. Nature is not always kind to neither man nor beast.

Yesterday’s hail did not seem to do any damage to the plant life though the aluminum siding on the south side of the house suffered some more dents. Anenomes, flax, bleeding hearts, honeysuckle bushes, and white violets are in their flowering prime with the yarrow and irises close to blooming and the blackberry bushes have flower buds. The silver maple trees in the neighborhood are laden with seed “helicopters” that are already falling, and I am sure the cottonwoods will soon make it look like a blizzard in June. Something besides ducks enjoy the weather.

There are some advantages to the unsettled weather: neither the furnace nor the air conditioner has run in over two weeks. Everything is green and the flowers are stunning even if they are trying to play catch up. Transplant shock is greatly reduced. The extra mowing helps make up for the reduced hiking and walking, but only slightly.

I hope your weather is cooperating and you have a chance to enjoy it. Give your loved ones a meaningful hug. Everything is just ducky when you have someone to love and to love you back.

Dawn Valley annuals garden 2013

The Dawn Valley annuals garden has a red, white, and blue theme this year.

Dawn Valley rock

This rock is located near Lucy and has some interesting blue veins on it.

 

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Filed under gardening, nature, philosophy, rebuilding, weather

That is why they are called hoot owls

Lucy and I would occasionally hear owls in our neighborhood. Every time we were lucky enough to hear one or more owls, it was in the middle of the night. Last night’s owl solo began at 3:45 am and ended just after 4:00 am. Each species of owl has distinct vocalizations and I am no expert on owls. It took a little digging around at The Owl Pages to figure out my soloist was a Barred Owl, also known as a Hoot Owl. Lucy has a picture of a barred owl taken at the Minnesota Landscape Arboretum on her desk.

Owl calls in the middle of the night have spawned legends and old wive’s tales in ancient and modern cultures. The recurring theme is that hearing an owl calling at night means an imminent death. Around 46 years ago, a famous novel and subsequent movie titled “I Heard The Owl Call My Name” used a late night owl call to foretell the death of the book’s hero. We never felt an owl call was ominous, just fascinating. If I were to have believed every superstition I have ever heard, I would not have survived past my third birthday.

I am happy for an accurate weather forecast. I put down triazicide this morning to kill Japanese beetle grubs and I needed rain. It has been lightly raining and drizzling for almost two hours. I am done with my remaining gardening tasks. Perhaps I will mow the lawn on Sunday; it looks like it may need it then.

Yesterday I helped Julie and Dave spread 15 cubic yards of dirt. I know I am feeling it today. What is normally a tedious and hard task was fun (but still hard) because we could joke around and talk.

I spent the weekend with them and really enjoyed myself. They have a beautiful cabin and even though the weather was unseasonably cold and the lakes still had ice, there was still time for a lot of activities. Friday night we went to a bar and entered some raffles. When we left, we were money ahead, with steaks for the grill, and won a couple of free drinks. Dave and his brother, Roger, are quite close and their cabins are about a quarter-mile apart. Roger graciously tolerated my quirks while teaching me how to play Pegs and Jokers. There are many ATV trails in the area and we found time to go for a couple short rides. Even going 20 mph in temperatures stuck in the mid 30s was cold. Sunday morning the weather warmed up and the loons were calling. An eagle made several low passes over the cabin while making a chatter call. There is apparently and active nest in the area.

It was a fun weekend and the natural wonders were spectacular. The highlight of the weekend was watching Julie and Dave interact. They love each other and it shows. Their love radiates a special warmth and was quite soothing. It reminded me of how wonderful my time was with Lucy. Maybe the owl from last night was telling me something.

Give your loved ones meaningful hug and enjoy your time with them. Thanks for sticking with me!

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Filed under friends, nature, philosophy, rebuilding, weather

“A Hazy Shade of Winter”

Looking out of my living room window reminded me of this Simon and Garfunkel song from 1966, although there is much more than “a patch of snow on the ground”. A steady light rain changed over to moderately heavy snow rather quickly. April is becoming a cruel month, at least concerning the weather. The weather forecasts for today have been in a state of flux for the past two days. Blending all the forecasts would mean the Twin Cities will get somewhere between 1″ – 10″ of snow. Nevertheless, once we make it through this latest wintry disruption, we supposedly will see temperatures approaching normal and (gasp!) maybe our first 70°F temperature of the season. We keep hoping this is winter’s last stand.

One coping mechanism humans have is the ability to anthropomorphize objects like the weather. Once we imbue the weather with human-like qualities, it becomes easy to assign blame. It gives us a sense of power in trying to make sense of something we are powerless to control and a focal point for our frustration.

My attempt at anthropomorphizing is probably similar to many others in this area. Winter is like the unruly guest that shows up to a party a couple of hours late, heavily intoxicated, moody, obnoxious, and refusing to leave after the other guests have departed. Trying to usher winter out the door leads to another unpleasant temper tantrum. Each tantrum is a little less intense and the cleanup is a little less disgusting. We can only hope that winter finally staggers out the door and keeps stumbling and weaving down the sidewalk without stopping and launching rolls of toilet paper into the trees.

I hope this is the last weather gripe for a while. It will be nice to get in the gardens, out on the hiking trails, putting some miles on the bicycle, doing anything but looking out the window and seeing snow come down. Chasing a snowblower is not as fun as chasing a Frisbee in a park. The only advantage about the snowy nights is for the people with someone to cuddle. I hope you are taking advantage of that!

Cuddle if you have someone, give your loved ones a meaningful hug, and let them know how much you care about them. They might be more inclined to help you clear the driveway.

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Filed under music, philosophy, rebuilding, weather

“Riding the Storm Out”

Many of us “of a certain age” remember REO Speedwagon’s 1973 hit song. The upper Midwest is currently caught in a cycle of weather temper tantrums most of this month. Last night the Twin Cities metro area officially picked up 6.4” of sloppy snow. This was after a steady rain that turned to sleet in the early afternoon. Our snowfall set a record for the date, and the 1.02” of water content just missed tying the 1.04” record. Today’s snowfall of 0.9” fell short of today’s record of 1.2”. I posted a few pictures of the storm in my photo gallery. Other than a spate of traffic accidents today, there did not seem to be much ill effect from the storm. No one needed generators or chain saws.

I can tell the lateness of the snow falls are getting to people, but I have heard that the robins are hitchhiking to some place warm, and that the Minnesota DNR is considering eradicating groundhog weather forecasters. The human ones are getting uneasy in public places, though one has kept a sense of humor with his #BlameJerrid Twitter hashtag. Facebook is littered with posts, some humorous, some darkly humorous, and some with high levels of profanity and frustration. Judging by the number of restaurant offers I am getting, I believe people are hunkering down waiting for a day or two without snow. We may not break 60°F again until May 1, which is a little over two weeks from now. Our normal high temperature is in the low 60’s, but we will stay 10-20°F below that for the next week. “April showers bring May flowers” but only if the showers are not of the frozen variety.

Our coping mechanisms are getting quite a workout this month because of our unusual weather. Compared to the horror in Boston on Monday or the tragedy in West, TX on Wednesday, our weather has been an annoyance. Dealing with loss of a loved one is somewhat like dealing with unpredictable weather. About the time the weather seems to calm somewhat, a sudden storm whips through causing damage and havoc. The cycle of raising hopes followed by an unpleasant set back is commonplace. We persevere through hope and we strengthen our resolve with love. Someday the storms will subside and chaos will diminish.

This week’s events bear witness to the fact that life has a degree of risk. For some, parachuting is an acceptable risk while others enjoy juggling sharp objects. Some people work in dangerous professions and take whatever precautions they can to reduce risk. Others prefer not to travel by plane. We cannot eliminate risk because we cannot control randomness. The more we try to control randomness, the more it seems that randomness finds a new way to keep us off balance. By the same token, we cannot predict or stop loss. We have to keep on living and to keep moving forward.

With the sadness and uncertainty of this week, please take time to give your loved ones a meaningful hug to two. Let them know you care, so they have the strength to endure, and so they remain hopeful that things will get better. If you see a busload of robins heading south, please tell them to turn around. The weather will get better sometime, and if it doesn’t, we can #BlameJerrid.

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Filed under music, philosophy, rebuilding, weather