Monthly Archives: June 2012

The hurrieder I go, the behinder I get

Benjamin Franklin wanted “Tempus Fugit” (time flees) as the motto of the United States, and had that motto placed on some of the Continental Congress coinage. Working extra hours shortens my week, of course. I swear about the time Silverlight starts making sense something else throws me for a loop. I know my brain is not functioning at anywhere near 100%, which isn’t helping. I keep blanking out on stuff that I know.

Minnesota Oncology sent a sympathy card that arrived on Monday because the post office screwed up delivery. It was very nice of them to send the card. Lucy and I knew she got the best possible care there.

There were three birthdays, Jane on the 6th, John on the 7th and Julie G. on the 8th, that I haven’t properly acknowledged. Happy belated birthday to each of you.

The flower gardens are hitting their stride. I need to get a few more photos in the photo gallery. The Asian lilies are spectacular this year and the ancient and sickly peony actually bloomed. It looks like I’ll get a pretty good crop of blackberries and raspberries and the string beans I am growing in containers on the deck are setting flower buds. Now that the monsoon season has ended, the lawn doesn’t require twice per week mowing.

Lucy would be happy with the increased number of monarchs I am seeing. Monarchs had a huge population crash several years ago when a large wintering area for them got unseasonably cold and killed a few billion of them. The dragonflies are busy and I’m seeing sphinx moths, which almost look like hummingbirds. I have not seen a hummingbird yet this year, but I’m sure they are out there.

Wednesday will be two months since Lucy’s passing. In some ways, it doesn’t seem like it’s been that long, yet in other ways, it seems like two million years.

The weather has cooperated nicely for the Twin Cities area as of late. It sounds like tomorrow night could bring some rain and possibly a few storms our way. The air conditioner has been getting a workout lately, too.

Give our loved ones a hug tonight and make it meaningful. You may be surprised at how much a good hug is appreciated, especially when they go from plentiful to scarce.

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Filed under family, friends, gardening, rebuilding, weather

Today would have been our 24th anniversary

Our wedding day was unseasonably hot and the area was in a dry spell. June 4th is normally around 77°F for the high. I think we hit 94°F that day and we had an outdoor wedding. Despite people almost passing out from the heat and my brother Robert arriving with a very painful sunburn, it was a perfect day.

Today went better than I thought it would. Reading everyone’s comments before heading to work helped so much. Last night was actually tougher. Thank you everyone for thinking of me!

I left work at 4:30 (I was in at 6:15 this morning) and went to the cemetery to visit Lucy. The cemetery failed to have flowers placed for her today. I filled the paperwork out in late April, so they had their requisite one week advance notice. No flowers. Cub Foods is about two miles away, so I went there and picked up a nice summer arrangement. Lucy enjoyed monarch butterflies in our backyard, so finding this bouquet was perfect. One of my (numerous) quirks is when I would get flowers for Lucy, I ensured that at least part of the arrangement was something we did not have in our gardens. The Gerber daisies fit that criterion. I sent a fax to the cemetery asking what happened and insisting on a refund.

It’s about 6:20 pm CDT as I write this, which is the earliest I have managed a posting since I started work (at least on a weekday). Thank you again for thinking of me today! I wish I could adequately express how much it helps.

anniversary bouquet

The last minute bouquet from Cub Foods (the monarch is a decoration, not a real one).

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Thank God for friends

I had a great Memorial Day weekend. The workweek got long. I like the company, I like my co-workers, my bosses are great, but we’re on a very aggressive product timeline and I’m trying to contribute without slowing everyone else down. I spent seven hours in the office Saturday to get as much behind schedule stuff done as I could. I’ve learned quite a bit of stuff these past three weeks but I have only begun to scratch the surface. For success as a new hire, one needs to endure some short-term pain to get long-term gain.

Today was an example of where friends come in. I got to catch up a bit during a large landscaping job with a friend I hadn’t seen in about fifteen years, though we’ve exchanged emails and IMs through the years. It’s funny how we picked up as if the last time we had seen each other was last week. That’s the most wonderful part about long-time friends. Thanks, Kell! It was nice meeting her husband, Darren, and seeing her daughter, Amanda, too.

Tomorrow is a tough day. It would have been our 24th wedding anniversary. I’m going to work tomorrow and start hammering away on a complex project I’m a week behind on completing. It sounds like thunderstorms are forecast for tomorrow afternoon and evening, so I might not get to the cemetery, either. Lightning seems to like the spruce trees near Lucy’s grave. I think she’d rather wait for me to join her from natural causes rather than from ten billion joules of electricity running through me (and yes, I had to Google that piece of trivia). We normally would go to Don Pablo’s or Romano’s Macaroni Grill for dinner, especially since our anniversary falls on a weekday and we both have to get up early the day after. My guess is many people thought we were a boring couple, but we enjoyed spending time together. That was our gift to each other: time spent together. It meant more than anything we could buy. We had to share our week with work, but we tried to spend as much time together during our weekends. They were precious to us.

It’s been nearly two months since Lucy died. I know I’m slowly healing and I hope the others who love her are feeling some healing, too. She was a very special woman. As I wrote in her eulogy, it took time for me to get the courage to ask her out. The more I got to know her, the more it seemed right. I wanted to be sure that I wasn’t getting my hopes up only to find she didn’t feel the same towards me as I did towards her. It seriously damaged a wonderful friendship decades ago when I saw what I wanted to believe, and I didn’t want to go through that again.

Perhaps that’s why I remember so many seemingly trivial details about our relationship. Our first kiss took a while because I didn’t want to mess up a good thing. I could see how happy she was when we were together and it took a bit to be sure I was the one making her happy. So much for my above average observation powers, eh? I believe in wasting no opportunity, but some opportunities require more care than others, none more so than l’affaires de cœuer. (If I butchered the French, it’s been about 35 years since I ran through a French Berlitz class. My Spanish and Latin are slipping badly and I have totally forgotten what little Norwegian, German, and Danish I knew.)

I’m grateful for those of you who read this blog. I have no idea what the future holds for me. Some of you have lost a spouse and have found love again. Perhaps that is in my future, but Lucy will always be special to me no matter what. Some of you are in long-term relationships and/or marriages, and my hope is that your happily ever after lasts for many more years. Others are battling health issues, or being a caregiver for a loved one, with a great deal of dignity, good humor, and courage and I hope your battle is fought on your terms. Some of you have loved ones serving in the military and are enduring a long separation, and I hope your loved one returns safely so you can keep going with your happily ever after.

The common thread is that love gets us through life. Love is a priceless blessing that someone shares with you. I find inspiration, strength, peace and hope in each of you. Thank you for sharing that with me.

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Filed under friends, philosophy, rebuilding